Posted by: sistermom1 | November 28, 2019

On Becoming a Conscious Parent

Now that our children are 20 and 23 years old, I am learning that as a Conscious Parent (CP), my role as Mom has evolved and I find myself playing a very different role than I used to — one of co-traveler instead of all-knowing leader. Truth be told, this has always been the role that my spouse and I should have played, even when our children were younger. But I come to this understanding late — not never!  I mean, I can’t begin to know the nooks and crannies of the world in which our children must operate — it is so different than when I was in my 20’s — so many things about daily life have changed. My suggestions often fall on deaf ears because they have so little to do with how their world (and it is their world!) actually works.
Now I can hear many of you react: “But so many things from that time are still true! The virtues that our parents taught us are still very applicable to today!” Yes, very true, but the way that our children embrace them has nothing to do with us directly.  It is completely up to them, no matter what we say or think.  “But as Black and Brown youths in today’s combustive, caustic and (hopefully!) changing world, they have a specially challenging way to navigate! They still need me to protect them!”  I say in response, “No they do not.”
“…It’s a tremendous privilege to raise children, though for a quite different reason than most of us who are parents imagine.   While we think it’s our responsibility to mold and shape our children’s future, the essential premise of Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s A Call to Conscious Parenting (www drshefali.com) is that our children are born to us to create deep internal transformation within us.”  As we change and grow, we overcome many of the messages we have internalized about ourselves and as a result, do not pass on generational pain to our own children. In my experience over the course of three years of voracious study with Dr. Tsabary, this is a huge issue that makes a big difference in how strongly I am able to connect with my children.
I wanted to share a little about what I have learned about Conscious Parenting so far. Please check it out – our children (and we!) deserve it! I have already seen a dramatic change in my spirit, my relationship with my spouse, a deeper understanding of my own parents’ journey, and a serious improvement of my relationship with both of our children!  I will write more again as this journey continues!

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