Posted by: sistermom1 | January 27, 2014

The Death of the Big Envelope

OK – Do you remember completing all of those college applications? Printing out the forms, writing those essays (typing them and maybe even making copies on a Xerox machine!) Getting them mailed on time, and waiting with fingers crossed for the decisions? Forty years ago (yes, 40!) I remember watching the mailbox for college decisions and hoping to receive several large envelopes in the mail. The large envelope meant “Congratulations, you have been accepted.” A regular business-size envelope meant “Thanks for your application, but no”.

Having recently completed the college applications process with my son, I had a rude awakening today. Although he has already received 2 large envelopes (yay!! and whew!), there are a few decisions we are waiting to hear. Here is my rude awakening — many of the institutions will not use regular mail, but will let him know their admission decision via email.

I was indignant: “VIA EMAIL? What about the envelopes? So you mean he’s going to have to log into your website and click on the information he uploaded a month ago, and see a screen that delivers your decision? How impersonal! How awful! What about a letter? After all of his work, THIS is how he is going to find out? Oh my God!…” My sister-in-law, who is a college admissions director, looked at me sympathetically and said “Yes, he would be lucky to get a letter — we just don’t do it that way anymore..”

Now, my son has no problem with this. As a young adult, most of his world communicates in this way. Even in high schools, turning in written work is dramatically different than my “old-school” experience. (Have you heard of The lack of connection notwithstanding, my son absolutely does not mind that this is the way that many institutions operate, and he is anticipating the deadline to check his email for the upcoming decisions with no attitude at all. I am beginning to think this may be yet another issue of my ego, but more on THAT at another time….

As I continue considering this state of things, I received an email that really helped me understand what my approach should be at this point. None of this is about me — this is definitely our son’s journey, and my role is to support him positively, personally and emotionally (financially!?). For me to do that well, I have really been forced to let go of my experience and expectations based on the way things used to be, and what I think. The universe responded to my discomfort, and I received an email with the following information that I desperately needed to remember:

If we look at life with the eyes of Faith, we can see that we are protected, guarded and guided to better and better outcomes. It takes seeing life this way to be able to ride this wave. We have to be willing to look at death, letting go, heartbreak and chaos with the eyes of celebration, for all these things are a part of the dance of creation that keeps Life moving.

I am committed to riding the wave, enjoying this process, and helping my son move through it smoothly and with his soul intact. Wish us luck, and I will keep you posted….


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