Posted by: sistermom1 | June 9, 2013

The End of the School Year

Well, the school year is ending, and I am making time to take a relaxing deep breath (several in fact!).  Our kids have had a strong finish, and we are so very proud of both of them.  I am pausing to accept this reality — that despite the struggles associated with my being in a wheelchair due to MS, our family is enjoying a wonderful time.  Reading Brene Brown’s latest book Daring Greatly, has made me more aware of how I live my life and the example that I provide my family every day.

It took a few weeks, but I am feeling deeply blessed for the first time in a long time. In a previous posting I wrote about how our circumstances are separate from our identity.  This has really been proven true to me over the past few weeks as I have helped my children navigate through the academic and social challenges of middle school and high school, move through my own issues of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out — check it out on www.omagazine.com), and observe others close to me navigating through their own family issues/dynamics.  What a journey this continues to be for me!  A poem by Rumi describes this very well, “If you are bothered by every rub, how will you ever be polished?”

One of my life goals has been to lead a truly polished, accomplished life.  What this meant to me in the past is quite different than what it means now. I credit/blame(?) this MS journey for that shift. 

I continue to learn a great deal through this detour — many things that I was not actively learning before — and possibly would not know otherwise.

Things like the importance of deep breathing and patience, how easily I super-impose my own issues over those my children may (or may not) have, how much negative self-talk I have — and accept as fact. Also, how much I am triggered by shame, and how vulnerable I do feel over the course of any given day. Along with these lessons I have also seen how wise I really can be about human relationships, how much my children (and spouse!) have learned from me, how truly blessed we all are, the strength of my friendships, and how protected I have been from much of what can (and does) go badly in the world.

I don’t quite appreciate all of the challenges I am facing, but I am hopefully and cautiously on my way…

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