Posted by: sistermom1 | March 22, 2013

Living Beyond My Circumstances

It’s been a challenging time. We just started spring break. Both children are tired and desperately needed a break, but they were able to hold on and kept going through the end of the week. The third quarter ended today, so they did it!

I started the week crying — I am in more pain than usual. It’s been physically difficult, and I feel like it should be easier — why isn’t it easier?
I keep remembering advice to “be where you are” — not wasting time wishing you were someplace other than where you are. We really cannot move forward until we acknowledge the place we are, and that can be really difficult sometimes. It is hard when I am not feeling strong and capable. This illness has certainly left me feeling weak and incapable on many occasions, and often something enters my day that helps me dramatically. Lots has gone on this week — our daughter had a large science fair project due yesterday. (She won a first place ribbon!) Our son has been struggling with the volume of homework he has had, and all of the separate projects that he has been managing. (He successfully turned them all in on time — and done well!

Then two things happened. As a part of Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s 21-day meditation, the focus of the other day was: “Reality shifts when self-awareness enters”, and “With awareness I create healthy habits”. Fabulous thoughts of which I needed to be reminded, and to meditate upon. At the end of my session I felt more calm and more centered. I also got some ideas about what I needed to feel better about where I am, and get back to moving forward. More energy work — meditation, reiki, tapping, massage…..any combination of these would help me regain my focus and composure about where I am and how I could advance. I am getting started!

The next thing that happened was a phone call from a very good friend. We talked about how I was feeling and what has been going on in my life. He asked me why I let current my physical limitations change who I am. He said, “You are still the same diva that you were when I met you 8 years ago.” He continued, “You are forunate — you have a phenomenal husband who loves and cares for you and your wonderful children. He does more than pull his weight — handling much more than the average man that most of us know without a complaint of any kind. I attend the MS luncheon every year and I am always inspired by the people who surround you. It’s a wonderful thing! You have the same core group of good friends supporting you, and you are stil the same powerful/strong/regal woman that we know and love. Your detour has not changed who you are.”

What a timely talk! I really needed to be reminded of this. It makes me think of a quote that inspired me from You are not Your Illness:
Lessons in life come bearing the gift of wisdom. We miss this gift when we begin to identify with the challenge or set back as “who we are”. You are more than that – as is everyone else on this planet. We are far greater than we can imagine, but we doubt and we allow our current circumstances to dictate our possibilities.
This is perhaps one of the greatest mistakes we can make. Our circumstances are here, but they are not who we are.

Thank you so much, T. I deeply appreciate having you in my corner. Our discussion reminded me of so much — I had gotten stuck in my experience without taking the time to breathe. Makes me think of another quote from The Daily Love:

“Nobody else knows your reason for being. You do. Your bliss guides you to it. When you follow your bliss, when you follow your path to joy, your conversation is of joy, your feelings are of joy — you’re right on the path of that which you intended when you came forth into this physical body.”

The past week has reminded me that I am on my path to my bliss. Yes, this detour has taken me through some valleys, but I am confident that I will get there, and be no worse for the wear!


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