Posted by: sistermom1 | March 3, 2013

It’s Been Awhile…

The past few weeks have been intense. Lots of losses within my family and within my circle of friends. We have been blessed with long-living relatives, and I have not experienced many funerals in my life since graduating college. However, since 2013 began, we have had 12 deaths in our close circle of friends. Between colleagues, parents and extended relatives, many spirits have transitioned over the past few weeks, which leaves me thinking about life and death, and how many spirits we are blessed to have around us on the other side.

No, that is not what this blog entry is going to be about! Just a little sharing about some of what’s on my mind these days.

Because we discovered through a dye study of my Baclofen pump that it has not been working correctly, my doctor replaced the catheter last week. Although that meant that he had to re-open both original incisions, it was described as an in and out surgery. That was really not the case for me. Turned out that I stayed in the hospital two days, as my doctor titrated my pump. Now, after 2 years of having overly tight leg muscles — so tight that it was hard to dress/move/bathe or even sit, my legs were now rubbery and spaghetti-like and I could not even transfer myself from my wheelchair to the commode. At one point, I was so over-medicated that I had completely blurred vision, and no control of my bowel or bladder. (Not an ideal Diva moment, but we all handled it well!)

We continue to manage the pump and my doc continues to adjust the meds. This is a(nother) challenging time for me, as I am very used to being in charge (at least THINKING that I am!). I do have a lot of physical therapy to go through before I reach my goal of walking unassisted again. This part of my journey actually started in August of 2011, when I was in P/T to strengthen my legs having just received the pump. With the help of some fabulous therapists, I had even been able to walk 20 feet with a walker on several different days. I was deeply encouraged and looking forward to continued advancement. Then WHAM! I got a urinary tract infection. I had no idea how impactful that would be. I had to stop everything until the infection got cleared up. Not only that, my docs explained that with conditions like MS, infections wreak havoc — they can even eradicate any improvements you have made and take you back to square one.

Well, guess what – I feel like I am at square -2

So this morning I find myself healing at home, watching Super Soul Sunday as my husband does his work upstairs, my son’s friends make a video for a school assignment in the family room, waiting for my daughter to return from her basketball tournament, getting ready to start in-home P/T for a few weeks before starting outpatient P/T. I am not stopping — this journey is definitely longer and soooo different than I ever expected. I have mentioned before that although this blog’s title refers to a detour, I accept that this is my journey. Expecting it to be any different than it is would be a great mistake — and would lead me to miss the growth and learning that is waiting for me.

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Responses

  1. Wow Sorry for your recent struggle, but you have an excellent out look on things in general. “Expecting anything different would be a great mistake” Wow!


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