Posted by: sistermom1 | November 21, 2012

A Transparent Life?

The other day I read a blog by one of my favorite MS bloggers.  In it, she wrote about how MS has forced her to be more transparent about her life with her close friends and family.  I could really relate.  This condition has forced me to share more about myself with others than I ever have — much more than I have ever been comfortable sharing.  My husband knows more about my bathroom habits than he ever did in our previous 17 years of marriage.  He helps me get dressed every morning, including pulling up my underwear despite my tightly spastic legs.  My teenage daughter goes to public bathrooms with me in case I need her to help me navigate the space (more on THAT challenge later!) or pull down my pants.

This makes me think of a Japanese folk tale that compares how we live our lives to the manner in which farmers clean potatoes.  Farmers put the dirty potatoes in a deep bucket, close it, and using a long stick, stir them around, cleaning them by forcing them to rub against each other.   This is much like how we help each other clean up our lives.  It’s not easy, and not comfortable, but in the end, we are a bit more transparent, and more cleaned up as a result.

MS has forced me to face certain aspects of my personality that I was not facing on my own before — in fact, things I have avoided in the past.  To be honest, because of this challenge, I have had to clean up many aspects of my life that I would not have faced otherwise. Letting go of my need to control everything.  Becoming ok with doing my best – not necessarily what others expect me to do.  Becoming ok with being in a wheelchair — at least for now.   It is not easy, but it’s true.  I am becoming a much cleaner potato — even a  transparent one.

As we start the holiday season, I wish everyone the happiest of Thanksgivings. We are blessed to host close family (10).   A caterer is doing our heavy lifting – (my cousin Maria and her husband Quentin — amazing cooks! ).  Everyone else is helping by bringing a little something wonderful to eat.  Combine that with our annual baking marathon (yes, I still bake, with the help of our children!) , and we are prepared to have a fabulous holiday.  I am pacing myself — and not stressing out, which I know my husband appreciates!  I am really tapping in to the centering thought from today’s session of the 21-day meditation challenge (www.meditationchallenge.com):

“I move through my days light-hearted and carefree, knowing all is well.”

Can you see me now?

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Responses

  1. Always good to hear from you, you are such a blessing to us all. Thank you, and happy holidays.


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