Posted by: sistermom1 | August 6, 2012

Letting Go Too Fast?

In a previous post, I blogged that I was letting go of our annual family trip to Hershey Park because it is currently way too challenging for me to go. I have been thinking about other things that I have let go of including:
– Impromptu lunches/drinks with my girlfriends
– Off-the-cuff meetings with anyone
– Casual antiquing and window shopping
– Going to work in an office every day
– Leaving for anything quickly or doing anything at the last-minute/without logistical planning
– Visiting friends at their homes – the ramp we ordered has not yet arrived
– Hanging out at the Smithsonian without a plan for the day
– Walking through the park on beautiful summer days

I got to the point where doing these things became too hard for me to even consider.  I had to rest up the entire day that I was planning to meet friends later, which left me feeling disconnected.  I do need a lot of support to go anywhere.  I had to ask good friends to drive my car instead of theirs and to put together my wheelchair for me.  They absolutely did not mind doing these things for me — in fact they were happy to do them, and became great at putting it together.  (We joke that they are as fast as an Indianapolis 500 pit crew!) I just felt uncomfortable needing to ask them for so much.  To be honest, it became easier for me to stay at home rather than hang out with my wonderful sisterfriends.  In my head, I knew it was my problem, but I could not get out of my own head to solve the problem.

One thing that I am holding on to with great energy and joy is the Sundance channel show “Push Girls”.  It is definitely so worth watching and it has shown me much about myself and my journey.   This reality show features four women who are wheelchair-bound through illness or accident.  It shows them going about their lives.  Yes, there are some typical reality show characterizations, but at the heart of the show are four interesting and energetic women moving through their life journeys.  I watched a Push Girls marathon today and got so much from watching these women navigate through their lives.  I absolutely love  their motto: “If you can’t stand up, stand out”.

Today, the Push Girls reminded me that there are some things that I have let go of before I really had to.  These women push themselves (literally and figuratively!) to challenge their physical limitations — they swim, dance in their chairs in a dance troupe, drive, live alone, sing, shop, go out to eat, and basically do whatever else they choose to do.  All while looking pretty glamorous — sometimes even wearing high heels!  Maybe they do things differently than they did before they used a chair, but they still do them!  Watching today reminded me that I can do these things too  – whether I am in a wheelchair for a brief time or for the rest of this life.   Because of what I saw today, I made the determination to find a good pool with a good class I can take, find a good yoga class, identify affordable resources that can help me stretch my legs regularly, and find a standing frame.  Also, two friends I have not seen in over a year sent me emails to ask me when they could visit.  (Coincidence?  I don’t think so!)  I can’t wait to spend time with these sisterfriends — just as I am, with no apology for my wheelchair (something I realize that I have been doing in my own head for quite some time), and maybe even with some make-up on!

Thanks  so much Mia, Auti, Angela and Tiphany.  Nothing like the support of women helping each other do their absolute best!  I have added these four to my wonderful circle of friends and family, and will be tuning in each Monday night to see what you ladies are up to…..

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Responses

  1. I need to get that channel!


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