Posted by: sistermom1 | April 12, 2012

Feeling Grateful

In the midst of this MS journey there are still many things to be grateful for. (Yes, I know that we aren’t supposed to end sentences with a preposition. Sometimes it just is the best way. Hopefully you won’t let it discourage you from reading this blog entry!)

Since becoming a mother, I have been exposed to many different styles of parenting.  Some of them have been amazingly horrendous. Others have been truly remarkable. It has reminded me how fortunate I am to have a great mother as an example, and how wonderful it is that I have a great network of support — several mothers who I have learned to count on and with whom I can share my struggles as a mother and wife, and an even larger group of mothers who are my loving circle.

These mothers are amazing and wonderful — they have helped me be a better mother without judging or gossiping with others about my choices.  They have helped me become a mother who is able to separate my own struggles from those of my children.  One who gives her children the room to fail (in a safe environment).  A mother who celebrates and enjoys the victories of her children, but realizes that those victories are not a reflection of her. One who allows her children to decide what is important to them and who lets their grades be their own accomplishment rather than writing their essays and papers for them.

I am very lucky to have a very supportive group of women around me.  Many of them have the same approach to raising children (and husbands?) as I do, which means much to me at this point of my parenting experience.  They give me honest feedback about what I do with and for my children.  Along with the learning I am getting from my experience of living with MS, I am learning that the challenges of parenting teenagers are basically very similar across most families.  My closest group of friends are each wonderful mothers who understand that their role as parents is a true blessing which reveals as much about them as it does the spirit of the children they are raising.  Parenting is more than a notion, but to think you can do it successfully alone — without surrounding yourself with good mothers — is a real mistake.  It is one mistake that I have been able to avoid so far, and I remain committed to continuing my journey with their amazing support.

I have read a lot of encouragement from Daisaku Ikeda about motherhood and the challenges related to it.    Something that inspired me when I read it may also inspire many of you:

Most mothers have very busy schedules. In reality, it can be difficult for a mother to remain calm all the time, no matter how hard she may try. For this reason, it is my hope that the people in her life, including the husband, are supportive of her while she is doing her utmost. I hope that you will do what you can to ease her mind. By being supportive, you are ensuring her children’s positive development and ultimately their bright future. As for the mother herself, please be aware that even if you don’t have a lot of time, depend on your ingenuity and you can cultivate a deep and powerful heart-to-heart connection with your children.

I write this today to thank the women who have been my examples, confidants, and support through my parenting journey.  (which of course, includes my MS journey.)   I am blessed to know you and have your lives connected with mine.  My husband and children have benefited too — I am a much calmer wife and Mommy because of your openly shared experience, advice and counsel.  I am realizing and appreciating it more and more every day.

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Responses

  1. This rocks! Love your blog, I am a wife and mother too, on the diagnosis journey. Thank you for sharing your heart! Hugs, Olivia


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