Posted by: sistermom1 | November 1, 2011

Being OK

I start every day with prayer.  This past Sunday, I also watched Super Soul Sunday on OWN.  It was a wonderful way to start the day, because it reminded me of many important things.  It reminded me that the universe always responds to the energy we send out — we just need to pay attention.

I have been brought to tears many times by many things.  It is often out of joy — not pain.  In another show on OWN, Oprah recently discussed how there were many instances during her show when people found themselves deeply affected by what was going on, or so happy that they cried, overwhelmed with joy.  She called it “Joy Rising”.  It made me think of the many times I was brought to tears when watching her show.  It would happen when people unexpectedly won major prizes, or when people are overcome by having the chance to meet her and or by simply playing a part in the show.

One outcome of this journey is that I am becoming more OK with who I am — I am an emotional person and I am affected by the things that I see — even on TV.  I am a bit of a crier — not only when experiencing or observing pain, but also joy.  In the past, I considered this to be a bit of  a weakness  (I was a “softy” or a “wimp”).  But through these latest experiences I am learning to accept — even celebrate — much more about myself.

There is so much beauty in the world — I am becoming comfortable with being emotionally touched and affected by what I see.  I am grateful for the life that I am blessed to have — even though this life is dramatically different than anything I ever expected.  I am OK with the me I am becoming.  I used to feel like I was done with becoming me, and I was fine just like I am — I had even done  pretty good job of it.   I have learned that my growth continues through all of it — the MS, our kids’ academic challenges, the  life changes of our friends, the ups and downs of marriage — all of them have provided me with opportunities to grow into myself more fully.

I also end every day with prayer.  My Buddhist practice is a foundation for my life.  Becoming a stronger and better version of myself has been my goal for the past 25 years.  The process of human revolution (“… the establishment of one’s ultimate purpose in life and working toward the perfection of self.”) is one that I am learning more about through this practice, (www.sgi-usa.org) and one that I am truly committed to in my own life.  As more of myself is revealed, the purpose of this experience is also revealed layer by layer. 

I am more than OK with who I am right now, and with the fact that more of who I am will continue to be revealed through this experience.  I am determined to be the best, happiest and strongest version of myself and to come through the process of my human revolution more polished, happy and a true example of an enlightened person.  In this case, a person who among many other things, happens to have MS.

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