Posted by: sistermom1 | September 18, 2010

Exacerbation Part II

I am still in the midst of a major exacerbation.  My legs no longer can hold me upright for any length of time.  I have pain shooting through my left thigh any time I change my position.  I have pain whenever I go to sleep, and have great difficulty doing exercise of any kind.  This, when  I should  be exercising daily, and having physical therapy several days a week. 

In the midst of all this, my insurance coverage for physical therapy has reached an impasse, and my trainer is unable to work with me for the next few months due to her own scheduling challenges.  What timing….  Navigating around and through this particular challenge has pushed me outside of my comfort zone in many ways.  I tend to avoid confrontation of any kind, and prefer to be well-liked — even by strangers.  The typical patient role that I adopt is a very traditional one — not one to advocate for myself on the face of  the healthcare or insurance system.  Becoming an “empowered patient” is a new pathway along this detour. More on this later…

My neurologist recommended some very specific things.  It took me three calls to actually connect with him — an issue that I will blog about later!!  First, I went on antibiotics to calm down my overactive immune system that has been fighting an infection that was a side effect of another medication that I take to assist me with walking.  I then did a MRI to determine whether any of the lesions that are on my brain are “enhanced”.  (I hate having MRIs but since I get them every 6 months I have developed several coping strategies.  No lesions were active, which is really good news!)  I am now on day three of a 5-day prescription of IV steroids.  It is going pretty well, although I will share my experience with the at-home nurse in another blog entry — definitely a mixed bag!

Thankfully, as I write this entry, things have begun to calm down.  The pain I had been experiencing has eased dramatically.  I sleep much more comfortably.  My energy level has increased, and I am feeling better than I have felt in quite a while.  I do have much more progress to make, but I am feeling like things are starting to move forward. 

I am working on disconnecting mself from the “story” of my illness, moving forward without the involvement of my ego, and I have started to release the attachment that I have had to a specific and time-sensitive outcome to my current health  problem/challenge.  This does not mean that I am giving up — just changing my approach into one that is far more effective and takes advantage of how the universe actually works.  This may sound a bit odd and maybe even a bit “New Age”,  but after all of the reading I have been doing,  I am determined to make this fundamental shift in my prayer and my actions.  This exacerbation has provided me with an opportunity to re-examine my prayers and the real purpose of this struggle.  Finding some value in everything, every day….

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Responses

  1. I am happy that the pain is at ease. Many times we do have to be a stand point so that we can re-evalute the circumstance. One thing I know is that our cognitives play a major role. I also know it is easier said than done to not “think” about the pain or see the “brighter” side to things when you are experiencing pain like none other. I feel for you and am here for you. one love
    Nikki

  2. I continue to pray for healing and ease of pain. I love you friend!
    Carla

    • I love you right back my sister! Thanks for your continued support…


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