Posted by: sistermom1 | August 4, 2010

Control Pt. II

Control continues to be a major part of my thinking these days.

Not like the Janet Jackson video (remember “Control”?) but more about the  influence and impact that I am able to have at any given moment.  What exactly am I controlling?  How is control defined for me now that my health is so compromised? There is much that I can no longer accomplish simply by taking charge of/handling it myself. I have to rely on others to get most things done, even things that in the past I considered easy to accomplish.

One example – There are many times when my family has activities that do not include me.  Although I used to take the kids many places, it is no longer easy for me to go everywhere with them.  Fortunately, my husband is an active, loving father who often takes them out walking, riding bikes, bowling, swimming, or to the movies.  When they do go out, I am often left home alone, and I work hard on not feeling left out or lonely. 

My control issues come streaming out sometimes – especially when my husband forgets his phone and I cannot reach them when I think they are late getting home.  (I do worry…)  Being alone in our home was never a problem for me before becoming wheelchair-bound.  Now my movements are so limited in my own home by accessibility-related issues that we are considering moving – or doing a major re-modeling.  (Talk about having control issues then!)

About walking – At the moment I am unable to walk anywhere independently.  In fact, I can barely use a walker to get anywhere in my home, and I need a wheelchair to get to just about everything in my home.  As a result of this, my daily life tends to be more complicated than I am used to it ever being.

There is a new medicine that has been approved by the FDA for help with MS-related walking problems.  After asking my neurologist and negotiating with the insurance and pharmaceutical companies, the drug arrived at my home today!  I am starting to take it, and a six-week countdown has begun to see if my walking is improved.  Believe me, I hope it helps me to get even a little control back.  Thanks for checking in and I will keep you posted from the journey!

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Responses

  1. Hello Linda –
    I have been reading your blog for some time now and am truly amazed at how you express yourself and your world. I am wondering how you feel about having visitors, especially when your family is out. You know I live so close and would love to be with you in any way that is ok for you. Can you let me know what that might be?

    Best regards,
    Lisa

    • Thanks Lisa,
      You are so sweet to want to come visit. I would love to see you whenever time permits. Bob works from home (at least for now!) so my days are pretty flexible. We just got back from vacation today, so sometime next week would probably be better for me. Give me a call later this week so we can figure out what day would work best. My home number is 301-871-4812. Talk to you soon!


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