Posted by: sistermom1 | May 16, 2010

Going Commando

The other day, I went out for Happy Hour with three of my good sisterfriends. It was so much fun – more fun than I have had in a while. These women are my ultimate treasure (outside of my family!), and I love them completely.  The drinks and the food were great, and we all had a fabulous, love-filled time.

Then I had to go to the bathroom. My friends asked me if I needed one of them to come with me. I did not think so – I mean, I have a scooter and can go to the bathroom on my own – I can handle it, right?   Because one of my sisterfriends had to go to the bathroom too, she went with me.

Well, things were going pretty well, and we were laughing and talking to each other.  All of a sudden, things went badly.   I had difficulty making the transition from the toilet to my wheelchair and fell on the floor. (On the floor of a public bathroom?  How gross and embarassing!)  This has never happened before, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I tried to get up on my own, but couldn’t.   Well, my sisterfriend heard me struggling and immediately went into “commando mode”.   She asked what I needed and how she could help. Through my frustrated tears I was not able to answer her.   The next thing I knew she was talking to me calmly and deliberately while crawling on her stomach under the door of the stall I was in to help me.   She literally crawled on that dirty, filthy floor to get to me.   I absolutely could not believe what she did.

Once she succeeded in getting under the door of the stall (she is petite), she wasn’t able to pick me up by herself .  Ultimately, she ran out of the bathroom to get help from one of our other sisterfriends.  It took both of them to pick me up (I am not THAT big, but I am not petite!).  Once I was in my chair, I cried for several minutes, both of them holding me gently and quietly.

Embarassed, tired, half-drunk from too many margaritas (they were delicious!), and irritated by an interaction we had previously with an over-indulged, highly-entitled white man, we all returned to our table and sat together until we were able to laugh again and were sober enough to safely drive home to our families.

What do I take from all of this?  To be frank, a week later I am still processing, but I am reminded that I have such wonderful and supportive friends.  I feel so fortunate to have been blessed in this way.  Not everyone has friends like this.  My “commando”  friend (let’s call her G.I. Jane!) told me when I thanked her again for what she did, “Well, that’s what you do for family”.  I guess that is what we have created – long before MS came into my life, I had a family of loving sisterfriends in addition to my fabulous family of origin.  Who knew when we met what I was going to need from them in the future? 

This health crisis has certainly resulted in my needing lots of support from everyone who is in my life in any way — I have written about this before.  I guess what I can say is it is great to have a circle of loving support from some phenomenal women (and a few men – specifically, Thank you Honey!).  I don’t know what I would do without you all.  In this battle I find myself in, because of you all, I feel totally armed to the teeth!



  1. Dear Linda: It’s been awhile since we met personally. I used to attend the Sistermoms meetings when the group first began. But over the years, for a variety of reasons, I have not been active. I must say, however, that I have always enjoyed the group through the emails. Thank you and the group for deciding (or not!) to leave us wayward, MIA, Sistermoms on the listserv. In reading your latest tidbit “Bragging on My Daughter” I saw the link to your blog and had to follow. Thank you for your insight and allowing me to reconnect with you in some small way.

    I have always in enjoyed your self-dignity and invitation for all of us to be dignified in our lives. Similarly I have enjoyed your ability to enjoy and celebrate womanhood, motherhood, and personhood!

    Work through your struggles, for we all have our own and know that you have inspired many of us. Thank you for letting me into your life by way of your blog. You are blessed with many who love you in a special way. It has inspired me to look for the love in others, always.

    All the best,


  2. Dear SisterMom1,

    Try this tip the next time you hang out w/friends: -put one of these in your scooter bag and you don’t have to worry about being able to manage the bathroom.

    Or try this one-

    I travel all of the time and mostly overseas and the whole notion of using a public bathroom is a scream, so I travel with this:

    and I also have used these:

    or you can just google Megellans Travel Store online.

    Hope this is helpful information for you and others.


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