Posted by: sistermom1 | March 10, 2010

Under assault

In the past week, I have had a strenuous session of physical therapy, stressfully revealing psychotherapy, a follow-up mammogram (after getting a letter from the radiologist that indicated they have a concern about someting they saw on the first image), unexpected dental surgery and a touger-than-usual session with my trainer. 

I also completely forgot my computer password and have not been able to recall it for the past week.   My husband had to call someone with a utility program that could override the password so I could use my computer.  Now this is a computer that I have been using every day for the past 2 years, with a system password that I was required to change every 2 weeks.  I had been doing fine with it for so long, I never thought about it.

In addition to MS, must I start to worry about Early Onset Alzeimer’s, breast cancer, and my teeth rotting?  I have been operating like I really did not need to think much more about my general health since I already had to deal with one major health challenge.  Isn’t one enough?  But then I spoke with a woman who was my age, who has had MS for many years, and was an active leader of a MS support group.  She shared with me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago, resulting in a radical mastectomy.  I did not have the nerve to ask her how she managed this challenge.  Maybe next time?

I definitely felt assaulted this week, and am still navigating through my body’s reaction to the stress.  There is a lot of other stress coming at us this week.  Our son was accepted into a private high school – one that we could have easily afforded when I worked full-time, but now – not so much.  My husband is the only one in our household earning a salary.  As I have written earlier, I truly feel sad, guilty, and heavied out about this.  I am still working through the impact that my diagnosis of MS is having on our family life, and I am not yet sure how to move forward.  Over time, I will reveal exactly what I need to do to navigate this stage of life successfully.

Despite my fears, I remain confident.  All will be well.  And whatever needs to happen to make this a success will absolutely happen, for all of us.  I would say “Wish me luck”,  but we all know that “luck” has nothing to do with it….

The detour continues….

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