Posted by: sistermom1 | December 16, 2009

When the Current Reality Sucks

We had a second chair lift installed today. We live in one of those typical Washington, DC area colonial houses with a center staircase.  We already have a chairlift for the first ten steps, but it stops at a landing with  four steps beyond that.  I had been able to struggle up those steps and took great pride in doing so “on my own”, until the other day when I fell at the top of the stairs.  The doctors have warned me over the past two years about the dangers of falling, and I was lucky that I did not fall down the staircase.  My husband was helping me at the time, which has become the norm over the past month (thank goodness!) 

We also just purchased a motorized chair so that I can access more of the first floor more easily.  With it, I can actually eat dinner at the kitchen table with my family, and maybe even joining them to play the Wii some nights.  This makes me very happy.   Even my daughter said “Mommy, it was nice having you at the dinner table tonight.”  Funny what your children notice.

At this moment, I am feeling the very definition of “mixed emotions” — happy that my husband has taken it upon himself to find and purchase another lift and chair (and that he is such a Craig’s List addict!).  Lucky that we can afford to do it. Struggling with the fact that we need to buy another lift in the first place.  Hating that I need so much equipment to live in my own house, and that my Christmas gifts are all MS-related.  Happy that I can be more in touch with what is happening with my kids in the evening at home, and that I can help put the decorations on the tree.  (Yes, I am Buddhist, but Christmas remains a big deal in our house!)

As we end 2009, I still feel positive about most things in my life.  It has been a challenging year for my entire family, but we are getting control of our nutrition, exercising more frequently,  making more time for each other, and actually planning to have a lovely Christmas holiday.  Yes, part of  my current reality sucks – but there is so very much to be happy about and thankful for, along with the ongoing challenges that my illness presents to all of us.  My struggle continues, and I am encouraged by so much of what surrounds me.  I am reminded of a quote from my mentor in life, Daisaku Ikeda, who has shared the following:

Reality is harsh. It can be cruel and ugly. Yet no matter how much we grieve over our environment and circumstances nothing will change. What is important is not to be defeated, to forge ahead bravely. If we do this, a path will open before us.

Here’s to forging along the detour….and to joy in the midst of the struggle!

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Responses

  1. Hi Diva on a detour/SisterMom1,

    I love that blog handle! just checked out your blog and kudos’s to you for keeping it real and sharing your thoughts with us. Thanks to you, I just signed up for a blog-“ladycrusaderdc” ,although I have not entered the first word or thought later. As they say in the Caribbean: ” soon come”!
    Right on for the newest chair lift-can I catch a ride?

    Peace
    ladycrusaderdc


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