Posted by: sistermom1 | September 1, 2009

How many projects at once?

The emails have started coming. Messages and requests about the annual MS Women on the Move luncheon, the Founder’s Day picnic at school, and the schedule for the eighth grade fundraisers, and appointments with contractors and real estate agents to prepare our house for the upcoming sale. We successfully made it through both parties for my mother’s 80th birthday, but both of our children were born on Labor Day weekend, so the celebrations continue.  Our son is turning 13 ( a teenager!) and our daughter will be 10 (“all ten fingers Mommy – both hands!”)

I am just not able to juggle as many things in my head at one time as I used to before MS became the uninvited guest at our family table.  I used to pride myself on how many projects I could maintain at once with no problems – or being able to handle any difficulty that arose.  I have always been capable in this regard – until now.  I now have difficulty remembering exactly what projects I need to do when, and if something is off-track, I am not able to be as flexible in response.  This is very distressing, but I am working on a system that makes remembering easier for me, and that allows my family to help me remember. (Perhaps I can sell it? Not only to people with MS, but how about those with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease?  No, I am really kidding – LOL…)

Needing helping tools is a bit disconcerting for me – I am a fairly independent person who is really used to doing everything by myself.  A better word might be “humbling”.  Asking for help when I need it, and accepting it when it is offered has been one of the biggest lessons that MS has taught me over the past four years.  The thing that is most prominent to me as I write this, is me allowing my husband to be a true helpmate and partner – something that he is incredibly willing and able to do every day – a true blessing for me.

So the projects continue.  I know (and hope!) that they will always be there.  Being married with two children and an active social life practically ensures that I will have projects.  It is up to me to choose the ones to focus on –  and to prioritize them appropriately.  It is up to me to do what I can – and only what I can – with no guilt about the things I am not able to do right now.  Even if my new meds dramatically improve my physical abilities, this is one lesson that I will hold onto and use liberally for the rest of my life.

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