Posted by: sistermom1 | August 23, 2009

Notes from the detour

Today has been a difficult day.  I cried uncontrollably in the shower this morning – something that happens less frequently these days.  Later in the day – at the movies – I lost control of my bowels.  MS can be so very difficult and unpredictable. Embarrassed does not begin to explain how I feel – even now, safely at home, cleaned up, hours later.

“Life is difficult.” starts The Road Less Traveled Scott Peck’s book.  I have read it several times, but it has been a while.  Probably should read it again, along with Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, one of the most interesting and life-changing books I have ever read.  Both of these books and many of the books by my mentor in life Daisaku Ikeda (www.daisakuikeda.org ), really push me to think outside of the very narrow focus of my own life and broaden my perspective beyond my own concerns.

Yes, to be honest this detour has been a bitch.  Since the start of it back in 2007 (actually I was first diagnosed in 2005), I find myself confronting so many aspects of myself – many that I would never have even considered examining — much less changing.  Despite my years of buddhist practice and study, and my limited (but growing!) understanding of the need and benefit of continuing my own human revolution, I still find myself resisting many of the lessons that I know in my heart this detour has been designed to teach me.

My journey continues, and I pray daily for the strength, courage and openness to learn all that I am supposed to learn – always with the smile and grace of the fabulous diva that I am!

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