I will never be who I used to be again.  I guess that’s ok — in fact, I could end up being an even better person than I was before MS came into my life.  Before 2005 I was an independent, energetic and busy wife and mother with a hectic personal and professional life.  The “busyness” of my life felt large and important to me then.  I was handling most things for myself, my family and others, and I was enjoying my life — although it was a bit of a juggle.

The pathway to this new way of being in the world is much more difficult and challenging than I could have ever imagined.  This detour — I mean journey — has been one that I am only beginning to examine, and I am just scratching the surface of my understanding.

During my last two physical therapy sessions I have walked further and further.  I am very proud of this progress — and it has not come easily.  Standing with a walker, supporting my own weight, putting one foot in front of the other and being able to move forward is a HUGE accomplishment!!!  I do not take any of it for granted.  (Funny how challenging it is for me to do something that used to be so simple — walking…  MS has truly made me start my life over in many ways.) 

It has been 4 years since I was able to walk at all — almost 7 years since my original MS diagnosis.  They say that time flies when you are having fun — it seems that time flies even though I am not having fun.  So much has happened — four different MS meds (3 self-inject and one infusion), a hip replacement, a stair lift, two wheelchairs, a sliding board, a scooter, a special seat in our car, a baclofen pump, and so much physical therapy.  Along the way, I have begun to see much about my life and the way I interact with the world.  I also am learning much about the importance of my being fully alive in the present moment — being exactly where I am and no place else.  Much of what I have been reading and exposed to throughout this journey focuses on this point .  Three books: Loving What Is, The Power of Now and Quantum Wellness, have come together for me in a major way.  I highly recommend all three to anyone interested in learning about life, and the journey that we are all experiencing.  I am currently re-reading all three.  Combining the education from these books with the  spiritual pathway I am travelling has led me to a series of tremendous revelations, which I deeply appreciate.

So who am I now?  I am a spiritual being having a human experience and I am becoming comfortable with an evolving identity.  I am growing and I do feel myself becoming a stronger, happier and healthier woman.  Even without the professional persona and the huge rolodex I took such pride in having, I do have a large life, and I am still able to make a difference in the lives of my family, those who I am honored to know, and even those I may not ever personally meet.  MS does not define anything important about me.  It is a part of my life right now, and may be a part of my life for the rest of this life.  It is the challenge that I must face (everyone has at least one challege to face in their lives, and this happens to be mine) and through overcoming it,  use it to grow more capable and have more of an impact in the world.

I have said goodbye to the person I used to be.  It is still a bit of a challenge to let her go completely — she was such fun, and a real diva!  I am finding my fun again, thanks to a lot of prayer, reading, connecting with others and consciously moving forward every day.  I do look forward to revealing yet another layer of myself to the universe — layers of the woman I have always been at the core of it all…

This weekend I attended a meeting that was both inspiring and very encouraging. Not only were the speakers great, but many of the women I encountered before the meeting started were happy, positive and joyful.  I have not spoken to many of them since I began using a wheelchair. It is always a learning opportunity for me when I see people I knew before MS became a major part of my life, and this day was no exception.

“A” knew about my health challenge and tried to encourage me and make sure that I was moving forward in my life.  She spoke with deep emotion about seeing me in a wheelchair and how hard it was for her to see me like that after knowing me for such a long time. She shared strict encouragement about wanting to see me get out of the chair, and about me being able to fulfill my mission in my life. She was not solely focused on my walking per se, it was more about me being able to challenge my life and fulfill my mission as a totally enlightened person.   Did I truly believe that through my buddhist practice I can overcome anything — including MS?  Could I change this karma?   She truly believes that I can, but did I believe it?  This from a woman who has had a major health experience of her own. She overcame serious eye cancer using the wisdom brought to her through a strict and dynamic buddhist practice — I should be able to overcome MS the same way. She reminded me that I am a buddha beneath it all – at the core of my life.

I thought about it a lot, and her words meant a great deal to me.  I did feel inspired, and I also felt drained and listless when she left my presence.  I struggled to maintain my composure and my attitude.  Despite the deep meaning of her words, our encounter left me feeling weak and discouraged.

Happily, the meeting was great — inspiring and encouraging.  Out of over 100 attendees, I was able to ask a question and in the answer was reminded about the significance of my behavior as a human being.

At the same meeting, I encountered another friend who I have known for over 20 years.   “P” spoke warmly and gently with me about what she saw in my eyes and the positive and powerful energy she felt from my life — more than she saw the last time we were together several months ago.  (This was encouraging to her and to me.)  She was warm and encouraging and never seemed to be distracted by my wheelchair — it did not affect our dialogue. I left her feeling appreciated, and inspired to keep fighting.  A very different exchange from my earlier one with “A”.

This morning I watched Jill Bolte Taylor, the author of My Stroke of Insight.  Even after having a hemorraghic stroke affecting the entire left hemisphere of her brain leaving her without speech and without any memories of her prior life, she had the realization that she was perfect and whole just the way she was.  Her stroke and recuperation forced her to disconnect from her ego and re-start her life, irrespective of what other people had to say.  She learned so much from the experience, and her recovery, which took several years.  She spoke about the significance of our thoughts and how what you choose to think about determines much about your life.  Between the mental self-talk and the energy that people bring to us, it is important that we focus on the exchanges that nurture us and bring us good energy –not on the things that drain us and leave us weakened.

This was amazing timing — and as a result, I am choosing to focus on the exchange I had with “P”.  Dr. Bolte Taylor shared her belief that there are basically two kinds of people in the world — those who bring you energy and those who take it from you.  Hearing that helped me put the encounters from the day before into perspective, and keep moving forward. 

A question I am left with is “What if my mission — at least at this time — is to be inspiring and encouraging from a wheelchair?”  Of course, one of my goals is to walk again, along with that I now have the goal to be a whole, positive and inspiring person — regardless of my basic mode of transportation.  I am excited by this and am now moving into 2012 with a new energy and prayer.  Thank you “A” and “P” for these meaningful encounters!!!!

Sometimes the answer to our prayers is “No”. Sometimes the answer is “Not yet”, and many times it is “Yes”. Either way, my prayer continues, until I get it right — pray with the right attitude (always with gratitude) and pray for the best outcome, rather than solely for what I think I want. Through this ongoing health experience I have received many opportunities to learn about myself, and to reflect on the things I pray for and about. 

Yesterday, I did experience a major breakthrough — something I have been wotking on and praying about for a very long time.  With the assistance of a walker, I actually took several steps.  I was able to walk about 15 feet!  When I finished and sat down, I burst into tears that were full of appreciation and joy.  It has been so very long since I was able to stand and support my own weight and move forward without a wheelchair!  It brings tears to my eyes as I remember it even now.  

I have written before about the impact of a strong, experienced physical therapist.  The folks I have been working with this time around are really incredible — positive, supportive, and strict (like one of your favorite elementary school teachers), and I thank them all very much for everything that they are doing to support my improvement.  I certainly would not be able to do any of it without their prodding, direction and encouragement.

My journey continues, but it was so amazing to come home this evening (via Metro Access!) and share my accomplishment with my family.  Everyone was inspired and hopeful when I shared that I had actually taken several steps with a walker.  I had really been feeling sad, stuck and disappointed about my lack of progress.  Although I continued to pray about improvement in my health, I was unsure about what was really happening underneath it all.  There were so many disparate exercises.  What did rolling on my stomach on the mat, flexing my feet, or sitting on the edge of a mat with my hands in my lap have to do with being able to walk?

Yesterday’s experience inspires me in so many ways.  Keep exercising.  Do your best.  Keep praying.  Keep moving on behalf of others  (We were able to donate several pieces of furniture to a local non-profit that works to prevent homelessness, www.awidercircle.org ).  Being able to walk with a walker — even a little bit — is just the first step (pun intended!) towards my continued improvement.  It reminds me that my prayers are being answered every day.  Just when I needed to see it, something major happened to remind me that everything happens in its own time, and exactly when it is supposed to – not a minute before.

Thanks again to the universe, and to those who I am fortunate to have in my life helping me along this detour…..

Happy New Year everyone!

This week has been difficult and challenging.  I feel emotionally heavy and unable to move forward in the positive way that I am used to doing.  I just have been unable to shake it — what’s happening to me?  I had greeted the New Year with such promise and positivity.  I just made a great determination to face my challenges openly and happily.  What’s going on? 

According to the MS Society, “Depression” is a term commonly applied to a wide variety of emotional states in MS. These may range from feeling down for a few hours on a given day to severe clinical depression that may last for several months. People with MS and all those closely associated with them should be aware that depression in its various forms is common during the course of multiple sclerosis.”

Perhaps I am dealing with a form of depression.  I have encountered this in the past, but never in a way that affected my behavior. 

I did have a tough session in physical therapy — very tough.  I could not do many of the things that were much easier for me to do several weeks ago.  The therapist reminded me to exercise regularly at home, something that I must push myself to do.  I also started occupational therapy this week for my arm, which has had limited movement since I left the hospital in late-August.

As I have written before, Metro Access is a local shared-ride system that I was recently approved to use.  I have had a real positive experience since starting to use it, but I have had the van all to myself each time.  This week was different.  I had to share the van twice, and another person was a no-show, which almost made me late for my P/T appointment.  In the past I would have expressed my impatience and displeasure strongly.  However, through much reading over the past few months I have been exposed to the idea that my ego is driving my behavior, and just because I feel a certain way does not mean that is the reality.

The year is already full of lessons for me.  I have been forced to accept that this experience is totally my journey, and not to begrudge it.  I also had a meaningful conversation with my 12-year old daughter that was wonderful, heart-wrenching, and deep.  It made me realize that she also has her own journey to navigate (separate from mine), and although I can help her, I need to get out of the way and let her move forward. 

On another note, after the crazy holiday food that I have been enjoying, I am re-reading  The MS Recovery Diet and have started managing my eating more closely.  This can help me better control the MS symptoms that I am experiencing — maybe even the depression?

At this point, what I can say about where I am right now is that I continue to struggle to see the rainbows in the clouds.  The other thing I try to remember is that there may be clouds in the sky, but if you fly far enough above them you can always see the bright sunshine.

“One of the great paradoxes of dealing with MS: it’s a disease one of whose hallmark symptoms is weakness, yet it demands the utmost strength from those dealing with it.”

The above is from a very interesting blog – Wheelchair Kamikaze.  Written by a man who has been diagnosed  with Primary Progressive MS. Check him out on www.wheelchairkamikaze.com I have been learning a great deal from the blogosphere, including from Cathy Paten who was diagnosed with MS 20 years ago and who is an accomplished artist in her own right.  She has written an entry called How to Be With a Disabled Person in which she lists several things that friends can do to help us manage our physical conditions better.  In one paragraph she reminds friends:

“I HAVEN’T STOPPED LOVING YOU- I JUST HAVE TO LOVE MYSELF MORE

I know that people who care about me want so much to let me know they are here for me in whatever way I might need. The thing is: I often DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS because this is such uncharted territory; for both me and my compadres. I have had to pull into myself and rearrange my values, needs, desires, finances, spirituality, social life, closet, pet care, diet, exercise and living situation. IF I have any juice left over- you will get it, I promise. Believe me, this takes a big dose of “BE NICE TO YOURSELF, CATH…” I beat myself up because I am so much less available to you and I don’t really like it.”

I really connected with this entry, and encourage any of you who read this blog to check Cathy out at www.cathyaten.com.  Another excellent writer is Nicole Lemelle who blogs about her experience with MS and its challenges at www.mynewnormals.com.

There are many bloggers out there living with MS, and although I do not spend my days on the web reading blogs, of the ones I have read most recently these have affected me the most.   They have helped me deal more successfully with the challenges that I face each day, and I thank the bloggers for that — it is a true blessing.

Starting 2012 I remain determined to grow and enjoy my life every day, and to make a difference in the world one act at a time.  This is something I can do with or without MS, but this part of my journey does include MS.  I am at a point where I am ready to stop resisting it so much and to ease up and allow it to move me forward in whatever direction is most value-creative and meaningful.  I start this year in a good place, looking ahead to the adventures of a newly-invigorated life with my wonderful family.

As a new year approaches, I have been thinking about what a wonderful  year this has been for me and my family. Despite my illness (or maybe because of it?) this has been a time of reflection and realizations – a true revelation for me has surfaced around most corners that I have encountered.  I never realized what an adventure my daily life could be — even without leaving my home or my wheelchair.  So much has happened this year, including reading four books that made a huge difference in my life: The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have – Mark Nepo, Broken Open: How Difficulties Help You Grow – Elizabeth Lesser, Quantum Wellness – Kathy Freston, and The MS Recovery Diet – Ann Sawyer and Judith Bachrach.  I wrote about two of these books in previous entries, and will continue to share things that have helped me develop.  In the interim, here are some of the things that shaped my 2011:

I continued my monthly infusion of Tysabri.  To be honest I am not sure if it is working — much of how MS meds effectiveness has been assessed is based on whether you get worse rather than any solid improvement.  A real bummer when you think about it, but a good thing is that I don’t seem to be getting worse…..

I had more physical therapy, which is great.  Thanks to those who have been so helpful to me this year.  I am fortunate to have met each of you.  Your patience and expertise are greatly appreciated – especially as I plan ahead for 2012.

I participated in a mobility clinic.  I never expected that a wheelchair would be an option for me, but after everything that has happened this year, I have determined to let go of some of my expectations of myself (I will walk again by a specific date as an example) and to do what needs to be done to move forward in my life.

Our children continue to move forward along their respective pathway.  Partnering with my husband to parent both of  our kids from a wheelchair has challenged me in many ways.  (More on that later!)  Our son started his sophomore year in high school, and our daughter started 7th grade.  I am sure that many of you can relate to the challenges of parenting children at these ages.  It is the same for us, just add a wheelchair and a LOT of doctor appointments (for me!)

I was introduced to working with many alternative practices including energy adjustment, medical mediums, and acupuncture, all of which was positive and helpful guidance along my journey.

We made additional changes in our home to make it more accessible to me.  Made the office more comfortable and attractive with new carpet and blinds.  Installed a new bathroom with a roll-in shower, added a new hospital bed, and purchased a special seat that allows me to get in our minivan much more easily.  (I know – Where did the money to do all of this come from?  I still am working on figuring that out, and continue to thank the universe for enabling us to accomplish these things.)

Attended MS couples workshop with my husband.  This would never be his idea on his own, but we did it and both of us had an amazing time.  Co-sponsored by the MS Society and MS Can Do, it was a wonderful opportunity for us to stop and think about how we were doing as individuals and as a couple.  The sessions were powerful, the food was delicious, and the hotel was perfect.  As a result, several participants attended the MS Women on the Move luncheon, and I was included in two video shoots in support of the MS Can Do organization (great fun!)

In an earlier entry I shared that I had a Baclofen pump implanted to help me manage my spasticity.  It’s been 4 months and it is going well — we are still working to get the dosage right, but I have already experienced less spasticity in my legs, which has been tremendous.  (Check info about this out on www.spasticity.com)

I got approved for and began using Metro Access.  I also wrote about this previously.  Using it continues to be a positive and empowering experience for me and my family.  I was able to meet a friend at the mall to do some Christmas shopping (most of my other shopping was done via the internet, which was great).

At Thanskgiving I was happy to be reunited with a family member who had chosen to live completely separate from my family of origin.  This had been going on since 2007, and I since that time I had prayed regularly to re-open communication with that person.  Sometimes the answer to our prayers is “Not yet”.  Perhaps I am learning patience through this experience….

I was able to let go of my traditional list of must-dos for the holidays.  Not only that, but I really enjoyed it and did not regret doing things in a new way that respected my current health status and my abilities.  This was huge for me, and as a result I am sitting here with a glass of wine enjoying writing while my family is enjoying what they like without my oversight (“nagging”)  about the condition of the house.

It has been a wonderful year, full of blessings and opportunities to learn and grow.  So much more happened — including encountering new blogs, digging deeper with my spouse, exercising more regularly, and connecting more sincerely with other family members.  I look forward to 2012, and sharing this blog with those of you who read it regularly.    Thank you all so very much, and I wish all of you a Happy New Year!

Lately I have been reading a very special book by Elizabeth Lesser – Broken Open: How Difficulties Help You Grow. 

Through Buddhist study, I have been exposed to and learning from the idea that problems and obstacles have a specific purpose in your life.  More than just “my karma”, or my own past causes catching up with me, the problems that I have are opening me up so that I can experience my life very differently than I had been, and become even better and stronger.   The poet Rilke wrote that” in the difficult are the friendly forces, the hands that work on us.”  I am definitely being worked on.

Ms. Lesser’s book has expanded my view of exactly what the challenge of MS is revealing in my life, and why I should welcome rather than regret it.  As Nichiren Daishonin, a 12th century Japanese priest has written , when obstacles and problems present themselves, “…the wise will rejoice and the foolish will retreat.”   Reading  Broken Open has helped me see my current situation very differently, and helped me not retreat.  Not only as a wife, parent, daughter, friend and sister, but as someone who is living with a chronic health condition.

MS is not a punishment.  Dealing with it has begun to break me open in many ways.  It has forced me to slow down and pay attention to what happens to me and my family.  To really appreciate the little things.  To separate from and question my ego and the messages it sends me throughout the day.  (Just because I think something does not make it true!)  To be where I am at any given moment – not looking elsewhere for another place to be, or avoiding the place I am.

The journey is also teaching me the importance of the tone of my speaking voice. I have always been a bit of a diva (did you catch the blog title?)  and whatever I felt about things I shared – whether or not it was an accurate assessment.  I am just beginning to understand how this behavior impacts the people I care about.

My good friend “M” is a true blessing in my life.  She tells me the truth about myself in a way that I can hear, accept and move forward.  The other day, after I shared a complaint about my life, she challenged me to reflect upon my own attitude and to examine how it contributed to the problem.  She reminded me that it is not just what I say, but how I say it that communicates a great deal.  Her encouragement has led me to a series of realizations about myself, how I interact with the world, and some of what this journey is really about for me.

My journey.  We are all on parallel journeys – individually and as a community.  I see it as concentric circles - ultimately including the entire planet and the entire universe/galaxy.  MS continues to be an experience that is breaking me open — but to what?

There is much for me to experience – to read and to learn – not only about MS, but about my life — and what MS is here to teach me.  As I advance along this pathway, there are times when I find myself appreciating (not yet rejoicing at!) the challenges that I find.  As the holidays envelop our family schedule, my latest challenge has been staying in the current moment and appreciating it for what it is, rather than rushing past it to the next one.  I am becoming more comfortable with being broken open.  Wish me luck as we start a New Year!

There was a time when expressing appreciation  to another person left me feeling weak – beholding to the other person  like I owed them something.  This health detour has helped me realize that this is far from the truth.  Expressing my appreciation to whomever is helping me is a real opportunity to connect as a human being with another person.  Connecting to say “Thank you” is a very special, powerful and important thing.  It was rare that I actually looked someone in the eye to acknowledge something that they did for me.  A cursory “Thank you” when someone held a door for me, or handed me something that I needed was the norm for me, even with my own family.

This detour has reminded me to take the time to connect and thank the other people who I am blessed to have in my environment.  I used to value my independence so deeply — often at the expense of expressing my appreciation.  Rather than begrudge it, I am starting to see how great it is that others are willing and able to help me move through the world, and that it is a gift for me to be able to offer assistance to others. 

My life is not at all like I planned or expected, but as Winston Churchill said “Plans are useless, but planning is invaluable.”  I had never heard this quote before, and  as a person with a habit of planning all of the time, I was really surprised by this thinking.  So much of what I used to do and how I used to live revolved around planning.  It made me feel like I was in control of my life.  MS has SO relieved me of this belief.  There is so much that is out of my control in my day — How much energy do I have?  Who’s schedule is open to help me today?  Will my legs support me today?  How cold/warm am I today?  What about my spasticity?…   Planning has been so much a part of my life that even my kids tease me about the way that I start each morning asking  “What’s your plan for the day?”.  I have always been about planning and being in control of the day, because I do believe that how you start the day determines much about the type of day you are destined to have.  Now that so much of my life is outside of my control, I don’t quite know how to handle it — since I still want to accomplish so much in my day. 

Planning made me feel in control of my life.  What a wrong belief that was.  Having a plan is great, but a plan should also leave me open to the  many things in the day that can and will change.  The act of planning is an important step for me — it gets my mind going, sets me to thinking, and focused on the things that I want to accomplish.  However, I have realized that just because I have planned a particular outcome, doesn’t mean that it will turn out that way.  Sometimes it does, and that is worth celebrating.  Sometimes it doesn’t, and I am becoming more OK with celebrating the fact that there are times (many!) when the wisdom of the universe is far greater than mine.

I am determined to have gratitude for the positive things that are happening in my life every day.  I am paying more attention to what is happening – whether or not it matches my plan.  Expressing appreciation has given me power — and has  enabled me to attract more supportive experiences.  Thank you for reading this blog!  Have a wonderful holiday season — Happy Channukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year!

I donated half of my closet today.  It was pretty difficult.  My clothing played a major role in my professional life, and in my self-identity.  These clothes have been hanging in my closet unworn for the past few years — taking up space and looking so beautiful.  It was nice to look at the clothes in that closet — lovely suits and dresses and fabulous pants.  I was hard for me to donate them, but I finally did.   My husband had to reach everything – and to be honest, he did not appreciate how hard it was for me to do this (being a traditional kind of man!)

It was an honor to do it.  My clothes went to a good organization which serves many people.  As the bags of shoes, suits, skirts, pants and dresses were carried away, I did feel like I was losing much of myself.  Many memories of past shopping trips and of receptions and meetings kept swimming in my head.  I realize that I am much more than my clothes, but having a wardrobe that was completely about my professional persona made this donation process very difficult. 

My wardrobe was beautiful, and now that I am in a wheelchair, most of my wardrobe does not fit my current lifestyle.  I am not yet back in those stilleto heels, and the body-conscious, close-fitting mini skirts don’t look good on me in a wheelchair.  Although I do love to watch make-over shows like “How do I Look?” and  ”What Not To Wear”, these shows have not yet featured women who are wheelchair-bound.  (Maybe that’s a good idea for the producers at TLC or Lifetime TV.)

As my health challenges continue, I remain determined to look great — not just OK, but really great — in or out of my chair.  Gaining weight in my mid-section is a real possibility for me, so I have become more committed to working out every day.  It is amazing how quickly I can lose my flexibility, so I have adopted a new attitude —  that I am an athlete in training.  The exercises that my P/T Brandi shared with me a month ago are a real beginning.  Combined with my new series of therapy that started Tuesday, I will add something to the list of exercises every day so I can become stronger and more flexible.  Standing and walking again remain goals for me.  This journey/detour continues to force me to look at myself more closely every day, to research the latest on MS developments, to redefine success in my life, and to question everything that I do to make sure that I am really moving forward — even a little bit — every day.

I hope that whoever gets my clothes enjoys them as much as I did, if not more.  I hope that they make a difference in her life, that they help her move forward  — even a little bit.  From my wheelchair, I need a different silhouette to complement my figure, so another shopping trip is in order very soon….

This past week has been an incredible one.  Much has reminded me how fortunate I am in the midst of this major health struggle.  A summary:

Monday and Tuesday: 2 days of video shooting — A woman I met while attending a program sponsored by MS Can Do (www.mscando.org) asked me to participate in a video that was being filmed to help others diagnosed with MS.  The video team (6 people!) came and we spent time talking about my MS journey and much of what it has taught me.  It was truly a gift to be able to share my experience, and to have the time to reflect upon what it has been like for me and my family, especially at this time of year.  The team was lovely — very professional and fun — and I learned a lot about myself, my family, and about the whole process of documentary filmmaking.  Stay tuned for the video!

Wednesday — I used Metro Access for the first time!  I wrote about getting approval to use this system earlier.  I did use it for the first time to get to my monthly infusion of my medicine.  The drivers were on time and polite and very service oriented.  The experience was positive, although I did learn how easily influenced I can be by other people.  When waiting for my return ride, one of the office technicians passed me in the hall and shared another patient’s experience with the service.  He spoke about the person having to wait 2 hours for their ride, and calling the service several times.  It made me so nervous, that I called to ask the status of my ride.  Turned out that my ride was not late at all — in fact the driver arrived right on time!  A lesson in not being swayed by my environment and dealing only with what is happening to me at the moment rather than what happened to someone else.

Thursday – A day of rest.  I was able to spend time reading, praying, sleeping, exercising and connecting with friends and out-of-town family members.  I really appreciated having this kind of day.  In my past I would have considered this an “unproductive” day, but my attitude about how I spend my time has changed dramatically in the past few years.  I loved this day, and I look forward to others.

Friday – Metro Access again – I went out to lunch with friends for the first time in months.  It was a lovely time, and the food was great.  It was great being out with “the girls”, and having time to talk, laugh and catch up was truly very special.  My physical limitations have prevented me from hanging out with them for a while, and although we do talk regularly, I miss our monthly outings.  The restaurant was newly-opened, and the driver knew exactly where to let me out so that I could roll right in the front door.  When lunch was over and I was picked up, the driver was friendly, polite and professional.  A great time, and we are planning the next outing.

Saturday:  A wonderful day — we learned that our son was one of 20 students recommended to participate in a national mentorship program!  This, without me making any suggestions or spending any energy networking/navigating/negotiating on his behalf.  Before MS, my professional world required much effort.  Having the right relationships and networks was very important for me to be successful on any level.  The fact that this happened for my son without my having to make any calls or do anything is a real testament to him and how he moves through his world.  We continue to be very proud of him.

In general, it has been a wonderful week with many great things happening.  This is the first week I have felt like this in many months.  I write this entry — not to brag, but as a comparison to many of my previous blog entries.  I had no idea that my life could ever get close to this kind of rhythm.  It has been such a long time since I have had as busy a week as this.  Now that the holiday season has started, I am looking forward to having a life focused not so much on myself and my health, but on others and the wonderful spirit and busyness of this time of year.    I am starting out the season with much thanks in my heart…

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!